Hanz Eichmann

"We aren't here for a tour. We are here for something more... valuable. Kill them!"

-Hanz, ordering the deaths of his foes



Hanz Eichmann, also known as "The German Knazi", is the second-in-command of the Krooked Kalifornia Knazis, second only to The Red Baron. He leads the rest of the Krooked Kalifornia Knazis with a cold, ruthless demeanor, and is only loyal to his "Furher".

His debut in Chronicles of Crowman was in Chronicles of Crowman: Case of the Krooked Kalifornia Knazis.

Biography
Early life

Nothing is known of Hanz or his previous life, but it is shown that the Red Baron has a significant amount of respect for him, and allows him to lead his men.

Events of Chronicles of Crowman: Case of the Krooked Kalifornia Knazis

Hanz is first seen in Lucas arts HQ, arriving alongside Antony and Krooked Kalifornia Knazi Goon 3. He tries to discuss the plan of attack into Dinkleberg's D V and D's, but Greg keeps interrupting him to correct his grammar. After Hanz explains the plan, he is further interrupted by Adrian and Goon 3 giving each-other code names to imitate the Red Baron.

Hanz and a strike team of goons sneaks into Dinkleberg's D V and D's. When confronted by Jedediah Smith and Rookie, he tells his men to gun them down. Afterwards, he expresses his annoyance of the building being on lockdown, as well as Greg pestering him about his grammar. He orders his men to find survivors and get them out of lockdown to proceed with their plans.

He is next seen learning about Candace and her location of the lockdown switch. He is then called by the Red Baron to be notified of his arrival. After Crowman kills Larry, Hanz is seen appearing out of thin air to try and kill Crowman, only for the detective to run away in fear.

Later, Hanz, while looking for Crowman, stumbles upon the aftermath of a fight between Adrian and Crowman, with Adrian lying on the ground, bleeding. Goon 3, who was following him, begs him for help, but Hanz pulls out his gun and is about to shoot Adrian, until time stops and he is carried away.

When Crowman is confronted by The Red Baron, Hanz is seen standing next to him. Hanz is then ordered by Baron to accompany Slick to find the Maguffin.

Hanz is seen again when Greg runs to him in panic, telling him about Antony's death. Greg joins Hanz's search party for the Maguffin, much to his chagrin. Hanz finds himself trying to quell the group's argument as they claim they are lost, only to see Candace trying to escape amidst the chaos. Hanz stops her before she can run out the door.

Hanz is given new orders to send Greg and Slick out to kill Crowman. Greg upsets Hanz one last time and is shot.

Hanz tried to comfort Baron as he is faced with the difficult decision of destroying his Maguffin, but convinces him along with the others to watch it one last time. They all arrive to the Krooked Kalifornia Knazi HQ to watch the film, unaware that Crowman, surviving his assassin, is now on their trail. When Crowman begins killing all of the Goons, he turns to Baron with a rocket launcher. Hanz steps in between the two, willing to die for his master.

Hanz gives a speech later to the rest of the Krooked Kalifornia Knazis about their various past accomplishments, before playing the films. However, the maguffin ends up killing all of them, and Hanz is seen screaming as he burns alive in green flames.

Personality

 * Hanz Eichmann is a man with little regard for human life, whether it be of those who stand in his way, or even his own men, as he shoots Greg over correcting his German accent. Not only this, but he regularly verbally attacks his men for simple misunderstandings, and very easily lets insults get under his skin.


 * When it comes to Crowman, Hanz is initially playful when it comes to dealing with someone who can outwit him, but over time he becomes more annoyed that Crowman is in the way of their plans. Hanz also has a similar sense of playfulness when talking to Candace, especially when things do not go the two protagonist's way.


 * The only person Hanz shows an ounce of respect for is The Red Baron. He is not only willing to take orders from Baron, and never gets angry with him. Hanz even shows compassion to him when he is deciding to destroy the maguffin or not.


 * Poor_baby.jpg also strangely has camaraderie with Krooked Kalifornia Knazi Goons 1 and 2, which is shared by many other members of the organization.


 * Strangely, Hanz is terrified of Slick, being so scared as to refuse to kill Candace Owens simply because she was Slick's hostage. When asked why, he replied that the terrorist was "A very scary man". It is unknown why Hanz was fearful of Slick, possibly due to his skill in combat, or his bloodthirsty nature.

Equipment and abilities
Mauser C96 w/ optic Hanz's only weapon his his C96 pistol with a scope attached to it for long range. He uses it to shoot at Crowman, as well as to kill Greg.

Stealth Capabilities Hanz is a master of stealth, and is able to blend into the environment.

Quotes
"Dummkopfs!"

-Hanz being enraged about his men

"Greg, I swear to gott!"

-Hanz yelling at Greg again

"Greg, you have nothing to worry about, the Furher has seen to that."

-Hanz reassuring a grieving Greg

"But mein furher, do you really need to destroy it?"

-Hanz reasoning with Baron over the Maguffin

"Dummkopfs! Fix it, Fix it, FIX IT!"

-Hanz after the power is shut down

"Ah wunderbar, the building is now on lockdown..."

-Hanz after killing the security guards

"Yes, well done Mr. Crowman, you may have killed Larry, but that was only the first boss. There are still FIVE more of us!"

-Hanz after Crowman kills Larry

Trivia

 * Hanz is played by the actor Peyton Agne, who also played as the character Dead Guy in the beginning of the film, as well as the shadowy figure at the end-credits scene.


 * According to Hanz, the Krooked Kalifornia Knazis were responsible for the creation of the Star Wars character Jar Jar Binks, as well as Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull.


 * The name 'Hanz' in real life is normally spelled 'Hans'. This was changed as a joke to make fun of the character's thick German accent.


 * Originally, there was a cut dialogue scene where Hanz would yell at Greg in various German words in the scene right before his death, but it was cut due to the actor not being able to pronounce most of the dialogue.


 * Hanz will return in the upcoming movie Opposing Force.